Rejoice, my friends. It’s OK to eat avocados. Yup, it is. How do I know? Today’s “Today Show” told me so. Glory, hallelujah — and pass the guacamole. Turns out that for the past 20 years or so, avocados were on the U.S. government’s “no-no” list — along with almonds, salmon, and Edward Snowden.
MindBodyGreen.com put it this way: Under the FDA’s current standards for what’s “healthy,” which haven’t been updated since the 1990s, avocados couldn’t be considered because they contain too much fat. Actually, it’s worse than that: Using those same ’90s guidelines, one could make the case that Froot Loops and/or Frosted Flakes are healthy.
Go figure.
Reminds me of that scene in Woody Allen’s “Sleeper,” a film that follows the antics of cryogenically frozen health-store owner Miles Monroe who’s resuscitated after a 200-year sleep-fest.
Dr. Melik: This morning for breakfast he requested something called “wheat germ, organic honey and tiger’s milk.”
Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties.
Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or… hot fudge?
Dr. Aragon: Those were thought to be unhealthy… precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.
Dr. Melik: Incredible.
It’s like the ongoing “yes-it-is,” “no-it-isn’t” coffee controversy. (Catch-up on that tug-of-war here.)
I’m uncontrollably conscious of this whole healthy-living thingy because my doctor, cardiologist, wife, kids, extended family and friends have put me on the hot seat about my unhealthy eating habits — accusations that are mostly true most of the time.
My only hope for a reprieve is if the government discovers that Twinkies, Snickers and Lucky Charms are, in fact, the elixirs of life. When that happens, I’m home free.
Until then, “Praise the Lord,” and pass the guacamole . . .
Jim Lamb is a retired journalist and author of “Orange Socks & Other Colorful Tales,” the story of how he survived Vietnam and kept his sense of humor. He likes avocados. For more about Jim and his writing, visit www.jslstories.com.
